March 2012
Alex: “RIGHT LET’S DO IT! HERE’S THE FIRST QUESTION: WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THE FOLLOWING OBJECTS: AN ORANGE, A BOTTLE OF VODKA AND A BLOW-UP DOLL?
Rian: “I’d inflate the blow-up doll, then I’d squeeze the orange into it through the blow valve using a funnel. By blow valve I don’t mean the penis..
Alex: “Oh, so this is a male blow-up doll is it? Interesting.”
Rian: “It is male, yes. Next I’d pour the vodka into it, mix it up and then I’ve got my own little drink to sip out of its penis”
Alex: “It’s always been my fantasy to be shat on by a blow-up doll, so I’d pour the vodka into the doll’s mouth then let it shower down on my from a noose”
Jack: “What are you all talking about? Here’s what I’d do: first of all I’d throw away the orange. Next I’d drink the vodka, then I’d fuck the doll. Next Question!”
Rian: “WHAT’S THE WORST THING AN EX-GIRLFRIEND HAS DONE TO YOU?”
Alex: “Jack has herpes now”
Jack: “ That wasn’t from a girlfriend, though. That was from a blow-up doll! My friend’s ex-girlfriend said to him, “If you don’t start dating me again, I’ll run my car off the road”
Zack: “That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard in my life - “Ooh, I’m going to harm myself if you don’t go out with me”
Alex: “Girls are sadistic. That’s why I only fuck dudes and blow-up dolls!”
Zack: “WHAT’S THE BEST PRANK YOU’VE EVER PULLED ON A BANDMATE?”
Alex: “We’re never pulled this one, but I really want to one day; you tape up someone’s bunk on the tour bus while they’re sleeping, but you leave one small hole in the corner. Then you throw in a smoke bomb while everyone else stands outside and screams, “Fuck, the bus is on fire!”. So, the person wakes up, surrounded by smoke, while everyone is screaming, and then they can’t get out because of the wall of tape. They would definitely think they were going to die
Rian: “That is unbelievable man! Don’t ever try that!”
Zack: “If they don’t die of shock, they’ll probably die of smoke inhalation
Jack: “WHAT’S THE MOST UNUSUAL OFFER YOU’VE EVER HAD FROM A GROUPIE?”
Rian: “Analingus”
Alex: “Jack’s had a fivesome before”
Jack: “Hey! I was offered a fivesome. For the record, let’s just say that I don’t know if I accepted it”
Rian: “The problem with this is that our fans are pretty young -they’re normally about 14 or 15”
Jack: “We get a ton of people asking us, “Can me and my friend come in your bunk or something?”
Alex: “Or I will blow you right now if ..’ The thing is, we’re such pussies that we don’t really partake. I’m sure everyone thinks we do, but we really don’t”
Rian: “Mostly we just blow each other!”
Alex: “WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF ADVICE YOUR MOTHER GAVE YOU?”
Zack: “My mom said, “Wrap it up”
Rain: “Your penis or life in general? The advice my mom gave me was, “Don’t be a dummy, cum on her tummy”
Alex: “If my mom ever said that to me, I would throw up”
Jack: “We have a big sign that says that on the bus. We need to have it there to remind us because sometimes we’re just too drunk to remember”
Rian: “Like when we’re having alleged fivesomes”
Jack: “Dammit, that didn’t happen!”
Jack: “WHAT’S WRONG WITH MUSIC TODAY AND HOW WOULD YOU FIX IT?”
Rian: “All Time Low is what’s wrong with music today”
Zack: “I’d time travel us back 20 years. That way we’d be so much richer than everybody else by now”
Alex: “Let’s go back to [a time] when bands actually made money
Rian: “HAVE YOU EVER CAUGHT ONE OF YOUR BANDMATES IN A COMPROMISING POSITION?”
Jack: “I’ve definitely been caught masturbating a couple of times
Rian: “If Jack is alone -and by alone, I mean not visible for even the smallest length of time- then he is generally masturbating. So, that doesn’t count as a compromising situation anymore”
Alex: “It’s like that saying: “If a tree falls in the woods and no-one is there, does it make a sound?” For Jack it’s, “If Jack is alone in a room and no-one is there, does he actually ejaculate”
Jack: “MOVING ON. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WANTED TO RIP SOMEONE’S HEAD OFF AND WHY?
Alex: “It’s usually Jack that we get annoyed with”
Rian: “We’ll be doing a serious interview and everyone will be talking about their influences and things like that, then Jack will say…”
Alex: “(Adopting Jack’s voice)”There was a polar bear in the forest the other day”
Rian: “The nest serious question will be, “So where do you see yourselves in the music industry today?”
Alex: “(In Jack’s voice) “Well, I certainly suck al lot of dick””
Jack: “Alright, let’s get onto the next question now. Fuck!”
Zack: “WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE A GIRL FOR THE DAY?”
Jack: “I would do a poop. I’ve heard that girl poop doesn’t smell. That’s science”
Rian: “I’d go through a menstrual cycle - I’d kind of like to know what’s going on there. It’s something that we men can’t relate to and I’d like to understand it”
Alex: “I’d get myself pregnant so that when I changed back into a man I’d still be pregnant”
Rian: “Would you fuck yourself?”
Alex: “How is that even possible? You want me to impregnate myself?”
Zack: “You would have the most retarded child ever!”
Rian: “Okay, this is off the record, yeah?”
Alex: “No, it’s on the record. Look the tape recorder is working. Whatever you’re about to say will probably be the headline now”
Rian: “If you say off the record, they can’t use it. That’s a fact. I read books. I would like to know the difference between a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm.
Jack: “So, you’d spend the entire day masturbating?”
Rian: “Not the entire day. I’m not you”
Alex: “I think, perhaps, we should stop this now!”
